Thanksgivemas

The past year has been....enlightening. In many ways. That's a good, even great, thing by many measurements, yet I wish this kind of enlightenment on only the sturdiest bodhisattva. I have found things in the past year that were as painful as they were edifying, and I have grown proportionately. Hence:

I am infinitely thankful for the people in my life. There are so many things for which to show gratitude, but life has shown me that all else is secondary at best. There is no priority to the following list, just a Niagran (yes, I just made that word up, but my $20k English degree from FIU gives me license) flow of thanks and humbling sense of gratitude that fills my heart and mind in perpetuity. Read to the end, if you will, and you will find my sincere thanks for you if not individually, but as one of the improbably amazing people in the carnival of mayhem I call life.

My mother is the beautiful constant in my life. Constant giving, constant caring, and selflessness that she inbues in, apparently, everyone for whom she cares. She is the reason I am here, literally, but not just because I sprang from her womb. She demonstrates dignity and compassion, pragmatism and patience, and has taught me that while humans are an imperfect species, there is perfection among them / us. Her mother, my incredible grandma, does likewise for all of us, and is the most dignified and graceful person I have ever known.

My daughter is the rockstar I am honored to idolize. Kellye, your integrity is monumental and impressive. You live your life as an example of honesty and moral focus worthy of universal admiration. You have just started your journey into adulthood, and I want you to know that I am here for you in any way you need me. You inspire and humble me. While you are still a teenager, you are one of the most mature and adult people I know. My heart swells with pride to the point of bursting whenever I think, speak, or hear about you. Love is a word that is thrown around like a football at a tailgate, but know my love for you is unending and immeasurable. I am beyond fortunate to have you as a daughter, and, more importantly, a friend.

My brother is truly that. He is a brother in the journey, a brother in the struggle, a brother in the victory. It took us years to find each other, but the finding is that much sweeter for the effort. David, you are my confidant and confessor, and I love you.

I have two sisters, as different as you can imagine. Yet, each is so dear and amazing to me, it is an embarrassment of riches I hardly deserve. Melissa, watching you grow into the person I now know is as impressive as it is incredible. Your wonderful children reflect your wisdom, your humor, your intellect, your joy, and your love. While we have sometimes disagreed, we have always been so close. Thank you for allowing me, Uncle Scooter, a Junior Associate membership in the club you and Davis should be so very proud to guide.

Veronique, you are the embodiment of unconditional love. You show me patience and joy when everything seems bleak. I love the person you have become. You give your family all you have, in endless supply, without a consideration of limitation or judgement. You do so every day, and that inspires me no end. Your values guide you, and they are so ingrained in your heart as to let you follow it without hesitation. Will and Ruben are your equal and your reflection, and I value most highly the love you share with all of us.

Connor, you are the coolest kid ever. Period. You rule, you are awesome, and don't EVER cut your hair. Thanks for sharing your world with me.

My friends earn that title every day. I am rather stingy with that title, but I know, more than at any point in my life, that mine are truly the greatest gift I could hope to receive.

Jean and Jere are, obviously, the safety net in my trapeze act. And while I am not the greatest trapeze artist, I am an exceptional net chooser. You guys are love personified. You share unendingly, laugh and cry with me, accept my (many) faults with my (few) qualities. This year, you helped me understand that I am a person of value, while there were those that would have me think otherwise. You allowed me perspective on myself, helping me see the light at the end of the tunnel, while I struggled to believe it existed.

My stormiest sea is quieted by you, Patrick. As only the truest friend would, you gave me honesty, sage advice and true caring when I needed it most. You steeled my resolve when the miscreant misanthropes would try to break me. Everyone that knows you is impressed and amazed. I am honored to be among them.

I can never express the friendship Frank gives me, other than to say it is the bread that sustains me, even through my occasional stint in self-imposed solitary confinement. Your heart is so big and warm. Your instincts and acumen are legendary. I am, at the risk of being redundant, humbled to thank you for all you've done for me. Know that while I can never repay you, I will go to my grave trying, should you need me.

Justin is the Buddha I never expected. We have traveled the same path in many ways - not to say mine is equal or even comparable, just similar - and your wisdom is something I feel you don't appreciate enough in yourself. Thanks to you, I know: that if you step in crap, it just smells worse; I buy quality goods and services because I deserve them; and I will NOT be a part of abusive or unhealthy relationships (repeat3x).

Flash inspires me to work harder and smarter than I ever knew I could. Every day. With passion. I know nobody that balances drive, humility, and love for life and family the way you do. Thanks for being one of my most awe-inspiring heroes.

DH, you are a hero to many of us, but I hope that most haven't needed your benevolence and caring as I have this past year. And, as always, you give massively and unconditionally. You astonish me (and all who know you) with your unique ability to turn unbelievable potential into laser-focused action. Your brilliance is only outshown by your generosity.

Marco and Dean, we are in interesting times, and you both give me strength for the struggle. You intellect, vision, and commitment helps me pump my legs when there are 11 defenders horse-collaring our efforts. We will score, and it will be a touchdown dance worthy of Deion. While our mission is not a always a personal one, you have both shown me friendship in amazing ways. The 30+ years I have known you, Dean, give us a bond that gets us through our differences and lets us appreciate each others' strengths and value. Marco, you give me stability and insight every day. Thank you.

Peter, while you have retired from being a musician, you are truly life's artist. Your friendship and guidance is invaluable to me, and I thank you. You have taught me much about life, especially about integrity. We really should go diving more, though...

To those of you that have shown me how fallible my character judgment can be, thank you. Perhaps most of all. Your moral bankruptcy and conscienceless self-absorption shine light even more brightly on the truly tremendous people in my life. Your compunction is obvious from afar, and weighs heavily and perpetually. Start or continue to seek professional help so your children might overcome your lack of moral rectitude. While I now know, thanks to the massive and supremely generous support group mentioned above, that your heinous behavior is only reflective of yourself, it is a lesson well earned. I am learning to appreciate the purity of intent and unconditional love and support I give my family and friends without hesitation. I really like that about myself, and pity you for having neither the decency, integrity nor character worthy to celebrate it with me. And, far more importantly, them.

In closing, I am OK. And I have you all to thank for that. Every day. More than I can express. But to thank you for being in my life is too selfish and granular for the level of appreciation I hold. Thank all of you (the final group notwithstanding), the greatest people I could hope to know, for being great friends to your friends, great family to your families, and for being in the world. It would be a far less liveable planet without you.

Woo Hoo, Jimmy!

First, let's put one misnomer to bed. These are "debates" like I am a major league, left-handed reliever. There is scant intercourse between the candidates, and the "questions" asked by the moderators are merely interruptions between captive-crowd speech notes recited once again by the candidates (with some apoligies to Senator Biden, the only qualified debater amongst the final four). So what have we learned?

We learned that this exercise in public speaking isn't about finding out what the policies of the candidates are (see the transcript when, with the penultimate question, Brokaw asked the candidates for their doctrine, and they gave platitudinal pablum), or about differences in philosophy (as opposed to side-swiping half-truths about each others' records and statements), its about what plays in Paducah.

For Obama, that means connecting with the emotions of the nation and asserting himself as a fresh, if somewhat less qualified, visionary for the hard path our nation must face. For McCain, it's about sound bytes. When he pointed his thumb across his twisted frame and said "You may not know who voted for that, do you? That one.", he played to the ignorance and "yeehaw, get 'em boy" football game culture (note: I don't say "mentality", as that would make an assumption I feel inappropriate) into which our political field has devolved. Let me clarify:

It is true that Senator Obama, in his ~4 years in the Senate, has voted with the Republicans a number of times (although it is well documented by his opponent that he voted with his party >90% of the time). Why would he do that, you ask? Because that's how the system works. If a bill is being pressed by the senior members of the Senate and the President, and a junior Senator wants to have a fighting chance at ever getting any cooperation or concession in matters he finds important, he signs it and takes his medicine. Not every time, not most of the time, but strategically, and when it will return him the most cooperation. Some might even call this "reaching across the aisle". I call it the system as it stands.

So, does that make Obama part of the problem? How can someone play into this system, and purport themselves as an agent of change? The answer lies in the solution. As a junior Senator, Obama has had virtually no chance whatsoever to affect any standing traditional protocol (although I love his work with Senator Lugar (R-Indiana) including S. 2446, The American Fuels Act of 2006). Power comes with seniority and influence. As President, however, he yields, theoretically, one third of the power divested in our government by The Constitution. Congrssional influence is peddled by lobbyists and exchanged for votes. Seniority = influence = votes = managing the state of the Senate.

Put another way, it is no small coincidence that Senator McCain's campaign is staffed by telecom and NRA lobbyists, and his top adviser is a lobbyist for Chevron, Texaco, Phillip Morris and Blackwater. He has been in the Senate over 20 years and has amassed a boat-load of support from huge international and national concerns that now support him, comfortable he will die on the sword if elected. Or did they put him in the candidacy for his good looks, exceptional public speaking skill, and overall charm? I digress.

If either candidate had any chance, if so inclined, to fix the system espoused as so "broken" by Senator McCain, it was Senator McCain himself. He can point fingers with great aplomb, but only because he knows (as counseled by Karl Rove to Republicans across the nation) that the public doesn't understand how things work, and the first candidate that tries to explain it to them is seen as an aloof intellectual, out of touch with the American people. How 'bout them Cowboys!!!

So, the answer is complex, yet simple. the only thing that can save the nation is a voter eligibility test. If we test people applying for citizenship on the basic civics of our great country, why wouldn't we qualify those selecting its leaders? It doesn't have to be complex, and, speaking as a former director of training, testing can be educational. I guess to sum it up, isn't a privilege worth earning? If not, the sound byte-sters will continue to corrupt the core of this country with fear, grade-school finger-pointing, and misinformation. Go team.

Whazzinnitfuhmee

OK, so we're spending $700B on a financial bailout. That's easy to understand, but there is something very creepy and hauntingly familiar about the selling of this action. First, the real problem.

I am not, nor will ever be, an economist. I am a fiscal Libertarian with a social conscience (I like to tell myself). That means I believe government was put in place to build roads, protect the borders, and provide emergency services. Everything else should be private venture that meets a market need (if we had a private education system, I doubt we'd be in the state we are currently, and your taxes would be lower, but I could go on all day with like material). So I am generally chafed by any suggestion of spending billions on anything that doesn't meet the above criteria.

Unfortunately, I don't have a very clear idea of a) how we got into this mess, 2) what the ramifications are within the financial sector, ii) the short and long-term costs of the bailout package or b) the short and long-term costs of NOT acting. This leaves me in a quandary of trust. When we don't / can't / probably don't have time or inclination to spend several tears studying enough micro and macro economics to understand a situation like this (which is, I am told, unprecedented in the history of modern civilization), we have to trust those making the decisions.

Which brings us to the creepy and frighteningly familiar part. When the chuckle-head looks into the camera, furrows his brow and tells me "banks will close in your neighborhood, the value of your house will go down", etc., all I can think about is the absolutely imminent mushroom cloud that would circle my head had we not invaded Iraq. It's Lucy holding Charlie Brown's football. Countless billions have been funneled into the military industrial complex based on this administration's obviously disingenuous agenda. Same sales guy, same sales pitch, same bunch of bushmen standing in line to benefit.

The timing is also curious. It's at the merciful end of the lame-duck administration's kidnapping of our constitution, so there can be no deep, time-consuming assessment of all the aforementioned ramifications, nor can there be any accountability of the administration five years from now if the bailout blows up in our face (this can happen in a plethora of ways, and is as likely as its success).

So, like a good Libertarian, I say "What's in it for me?". Unless there are iron-clad, inescapable mechanisms in place to return the investment (give me back MY damn taxes) upon the financial success of ANY of these measures, I say let the markets do what they may. If the economy falters, goes into recession, or my local bank fails, so be it. We have seen this before, and we apparently didn't learn from it. Maybe we will this time, maybe not, but I am dead-set against buying this snake oil from that salesman. Hey, Warren Buffett just invested $5B in a failing financial institution, so that means there IS opportunity for private enterprise to affect the situation. My money's on his investment making better returns than my involuntary one.

At the end of the day, if they wanted me to get on board, they should have put somebody with greater credibility on the dais. Like Mel Gibson. Or Elliot Spitzer. Or somebody that could help me, in simple terms, understand what I currently don't. Help me, help you. But don't you dare try to sell me on another coffer-draining exercise premised on George W. Ass-hat's latest fear-mongering. I ain't buying.

I am the New Veep

There are 13 Republican governors with more experience than Glasses McGee. Take out Jodi Rell because she was installed due to....wait for it....a corruption issue with then-Governor John Rowland. Take out The Governator because he is ineligible for election as a nationalized foreigner. That leaves 11 more qualified (by the definition of Shlockey Mom #1) folks to hold the job of Executive-In-Waiting-For-Ancient-Pseudo-Maverick's-Obvious-Destiny.

Did any of these 11 ever broadcast scores form the local high school hockey teams? No. Did any of their local hockey teams play in a public debt-funded arena pushed through by the mom of some hockey players? Was any of their hockey players' moms the mayor that took on the debt, then left for higher grounds? No.

I have no issue, however, with sportscasters. It just seems that if you trumpet your experience as tantamount to serving in the United States Senate or organizing communities in the nation's third-largest city, you should come correct. Palin isn't even the most qualified FEMALE Republican governor. Linda Lingle is.

Who is this Lingle you say? As Governor of Hawaii (see any parallels so far?) she actually took the state's coffers from a $230MM deficit to a $730MM surplus. Yes, a surplus. When every other significant GOPper is cutting taxes and bathing their fiefdom in long-term debt to cover their immediate tracks (while lining the pockets of friendly financiers fromforeign countries), she saw a way to create a surplus, lower unemployment, and sign important human rights legislation into law.

Prio to being a governor, she was mayor of an ENTIRE COUNTY!!! That county has a greater population (672,188) than Alaska (619,258), and she not only DIDN'T leave it bathed in debt, she helped improve public education and safety. Those accomplishments got her elected Governor. Not local celebrity, bombastic demagoguery, or pork-barrel jumping.

So why, you ask, wasn't this excellent public servant chosen over the political infant? Several very depressing reasons.

First, she is twice divorced with no kids. How would we have her pose on the dais? With Cindy's half sister(s)? Then there was the invective speech reading contest. When given equally falsified libelous speeches written in Karl Rove's bathroom, she exhibited only a fraction of the foam around the incisors as Mrs. Not-enough-time-for-my-special-needs-family. Finally, she doesn't really look very "hot" (see picture above). It probably doesn't help that she's Jewish.

So when you're casting aspersions on community organizers to throw a spell of "under-qualification" on career public servants with distinguished and, relative to tenure, impressive accomplishments, Grannytard, remember that you are nothing but a desperate political choice of the most hirsuit nature. You are there because you can deliver a speech. You will never know what the Bush doctrine is, because you are either a little too busy to care or lack the candle-power of Charlie Rose (whoa!). You were never an executive of any geography that you didn't either drive into long-term debt or soak tax-payers for hand-outs for your childrens' benefit. Your integrity is only undershadowed by your depth of qualification to lead.

It is with these assertions that I humbly accept the nomination as McCain's inevitable pall-bearer.